"UGLY THEORY OBSERVATION"

BY DAVID NINOMIYA

My Ugly Theory Observation claims that people are decent looking from age 0 to age 2, the best looking from 2 to 8 years old, then get uglier from age 8 to death.  This theory is based on observation, because there is no scientific way to test beauty.

0-2 YEARS OLD
Children 0 to 2 years old are not pretty because their faces haven't developed any attractive characteristics.  Their faces are only round and chubby due to facial ďbaby fatĒ.  Also, being partially bald and having no teeth doesnít help their looks much.

2-8 YEARS OLD
By this age, the ďbaby fatĒ has gone away except for some in the cheeks which causes them to look like they have large/high cheekbones; an attractive quality.  Also, having a small head makes them appear to have big eyes which looks good.  Also, their nose appears small compared to the size of their head.  These features cause kids ages 2 to 8 to be attractive.  Also, younger kids have smaller pores because their skin is so tight.  This makes their skin appear smoother, cleaner, and void of acne.

A symmetric face is much better than an crooked face.  Symmetry and proportionality donít change with age, but are less noticeable on a smaller scale.  This is why 2 to 8 year olds are better looking because of their small features (eyes, nose, mouth, ears, cheeks, chin, head itself, etc.).  They are big enough to be distinct and pretty, but not so big where they seem disproportionate to other features of their face.  If a personís features are smaller, any disparity isnít as noticeable.  In other words, if you look at something crooked but small, it doesnít look as bad as something crooked and big.

8+ YEARS OLD
By age 8, good features start to fade as their eyes seem smaller because their head gets bigger.  Also, it seems their noses and ears grow at a faster rate than their head grows, making their nose and ears look big.  Crookedness and disproportion was always there, but itís easier to see as their features become more distinct.  Before, from ages 2 to 8 years old, their features are smaller, so crookedness and disproportion was less noticeable, but after about age 8, it's easier to spot.

From age 8 to death, other effects of age that make people constantly less attractive are wrinkles, acne, blemishes, sun spots, etc.  Also, as children get older, the pores open up making their skin less smooth.  These pores also make their faces oily and shiny in their preteen years and beyond, which does not help your looks.

In general though, little kids are thinner than anyone older, teens, adults, etc.  This is important because even though being thin has nothing to do with being pretty, it adds to their attractiveness, and so by being thin, kids are prettier.  They also smile more and don't do the things that make people less attractive (especially girls, at least in my opinion) like wear make up, jewelry, tie their hair up in all weird sorts of ways.

EXCEPTIONS OF THE UGLY THEORY OBSERVATION
The only exception to this general rule is when peopleís faces are naturally symmetric and proportional.  When they get older, their faces get larger so you can see these good features more distinctly.  Thatís the only time when you will  look better as you are older than 8.
 


 
<-Back to My (Stupid) Theories