1998 Bottom Secret Unofficial Manual for new Kalani International Action Club Officers

by David Ninomiya

*This manual contains derogatory remarks about Kalani, District 5000 and the members of Interact and should not be read by anyone but officers.  You have been warned.

Things to know.  First off, your 2 biggest jobs as Interact officers will be 1) to make phone calls and 2) to tell your friends when the next meeting or next activity is because members would rather bother you than pay attention at meetings.

You sophomores did not plan on being officers but an officer asked you to run so here you are.  Donít worry, at the very least youíll have something to put on college applications other than being just a lowly little olí member.

PRESIDENT- head honcho of the club.  Queen.

Goes to presidentís meetings and house of rep meetings.  Distributes work to other officers.

VICE-PRESIDENT- one rung of the ladder below the president.  Rooks.

The reason there are 2 Vice-Presidents is to spread the work around.

Does the presidentís bidding.  Generally the best place to be because the V.P. has no real work.  The president organizes stuff and goes to meetings.  The secretary takes notes. The treasurer keeps track of money and writes checks, but the V.P. has no real job other than to be the slave of the president and take orders.

Vice-presidents must take over the jobs of the President if the president is sick, on a field trip, etc.  Must take over permanently if the president dies, goes into a coma, has to resign because of a botched third rate burglary, etc.

SECRETARY- recorder of notes.  Knight.

Makes phone books and writes letters that the president commands to be sent.

TREASURER- keeper of money.  Knight.

Writes checks to various people, including those within the club who spend their own money and need to be
reimbursed.  Should know exactly how much money the club has at all times.

SHANAHAN- our school advisor in E28.  King.

Because of the stupid BOE, Shanahan needs to be at all activities or people could sue the pants off Interact.  I personally do not want to see what Interact looks like without any pants, so make sure Shanahan comes to all activities.

Mr. MATTHEWS, Mrs. FOSTER- rotary advisors.

They donít really say much, but do cooperate with them.  After all, they sponsor us.

Youíll probably need one of them to give you a recommendation for the Rotary scholarship so talk to them once in a while.

Mrs. HEEN- yearbook person in E27.

Can use her phone if you ask nicely and say its for Interact.  Dial 9 first.

Work on as much of our yearbook page as you can so you can give her less work.  Also, take the yearbook picture early so Mrs. HEEN wonít be as stressed out.  Double check the names because people hate it when you misspell their name.

MEMBERS- the homo sapiens who make up the Interact club.  Pawns, sheep.

Members are lazy.  Theyíd much rather go to an activity at Kalani than anywhere else.  Keep that in mind when scheduling activities.

Members get confused easily.  Therefore schedule meetings in an easy to understand way.  Always in E28, always on  Thursdays, lunch, and every other week.  Also, make the policy to stay in the club an easy number (e.g. 2 activities or 1/3 activities).  Donít make a complicated system or formulas for our confused members.

You will have about 4 freshmen, 10 sophomores, 20 juniors and about 18 seniors for next year, based on previous years.

Members are a bunch of sheep.  They donít care about what their next activity is, they just listen (sometimes) and follow.  They hardly give suggestions for anything.  They frequently give blank stares when you want feedback.

Members are forgetful.  For this reason, put bulletins in for at least Wednesday and Thursday.  Also call them to remind them of activities that they signed up for because they may . . . sorry, will forget about them.

Members are hungry.  We have meetings during lunch so if you give them food, they will eat it faster than Sally Struthers after filming stops.

Members tend to form little groups within our club.  This helps you in no way, but I just thought Iíd put it in.  There is the senior club, the band club, the small sophomore club.  There used to be a Chinese club, but they graduated.

Believe it or not, our members are nerds.  45% of all members are on the Principalís 4.0 list, and 60% are on the honor roll.  Also, 2/3 of the math team is in Interact.

OFFICERS- the 4 people other than you who run the club.  Sheepdogs.

Officers are in every way superior to the members, if for no other reason than they know when all the activities are.

Officers have to decide who is going to stand up and lead the meetings.  It doesnít matter whether you like it or not, someone has to do it.  Generally this is the president, but itís not written in stone.

Try to have an officer who is in band so you know when band things are because we have a lot of band members.

Since 1995, thereís been a boyfriend-girlfriend pair as officers of the club.   I put this in because you may be the type of people who like to keep traditions alive (wink wink).  If not, make sure you keep the next one alive.

NEW OFFICERS TRADITION- A 3 year old tradition where you ask an active sophomore to run.

Thereís a tradition which Isabella Lo started in 1996 that officers ask a very active sophomore(s) during a year to run for office for the following year (e.g. David, Connie, Colette, Joanne, Jason).  This is because dedicated members make great officers.  Choose a sophomore so they can be a junior the following year and the seniors can train them.  The year after that when they are seniors, they will train the juniors and so on and so on until the sun implodes, turns into a black hole and we all die.

You could ask a freshmen to run, but because there are only a few freshmen in the club every year, not many people would vote for him/her.  If running uncontested, perfect.

If people run against your hand picked officers, campaign for your people.  Ask your friends nicely to vote a certain way to ensure the election of your personally selected candidate because we donít want regular members to win if the hand picked ones can.

The people you ask should not be hated by members because people wonít join a club if they hate the people running it.

OFFICERíS MEETINGS- a get together of Interact officers to discuss various topics of the club.

There are 2 main reasons as to when they are scheduled.  1) When everyone is available, 2) When the president says so.  Usually held in A10 on the Wednesdays opposite of the Thursday meetings in E28, but if not, youíll work something out.

Sometimes, our meetings run late and they kick us out of A10 so we either sit on the stairs or go somewhere else.

MEETINGS- that little get together in E28 every couple of weeks at lunch.

You know what they are because you as members went to them.  Behind the scenes, from an officerís point of view, I personally see a bunch of sheep members herded in E28 where our president talks, and I assume the sheep are listening.  We then ask for suggestions, and once in a blue moon a member will baa, um, speak in which case I am so stunned that I forget the question.  We then herd out the sheep members, look at the sign-in sheets and plan activities accordingly.

Itís unnecessary for officers to be segregated from members by sitting/standing away from them at meetings, but we do it anyway.

If we verbally ask how many members want to do something (like a highway cleanup), about 5 people will raise their hand, but at the same meeting, about 15 people will check yes on the sign-in sheet.  Weird.

Make the meetings on the 1st and 3rd weeks because Thanksgiving and Xmas break, are both on the 4th week.

HOUSE OF REP MEETINGS- get together of house of rep, and presidents of clubs.

The president goes to this to represent our club.  The presidents and house of rep people talk about school policies and give suggestions to make or change them.  In actuality, the administration doesnít give a %$(*#! what the hell we think and in secret make up the real policy.

PRESIDENTíS MEETINGS- get together of all the presidents of clubs.

In C10 where Woitabitch complains and whines to presidents about the lack of activities in the school.  They deal with mostly club activities as opposed to the house of rep. meetings where they talk about school policy.

SCBM MEETINGS- meeting where the administration makes up stupid school policies.

We are supposed to send a representative to meetings, but donít because 1) weíre too lazy, 2) no one wants to do it, 3) no one cares, 4) its a big waste of time and 5) it wonít make a difference

DISTRICT MEETINGS- meeting where the big Interact (District 5000) meets.

See SCBM meetings.

ROTARY MEETINGS- meeting where Rotary meets.

New thing where weíre supposed to send a rep. to Rotary meetings during school time.  May actually get people to do this because theyíll get out of school, but maybe not because of the attendance policy.  Also, see reasons of SCBM meetings.

SIGN-IN SHEETS- pieces of paper that are passed around to take roll.

For the first sign-in sheet of the first meeting, keep it forever.  No matter how closely you go over it, you will always misspell a name or write in a wrong number.  Once there is a discrepancy, change it.

The truth is, we donít care who comes to meetings, just as long as they come to activities.

The sign-in sheets are a good indicator of which activities to do, and which ones to cancel.

As for the infamous ď?Ē on sign-in sheets, consider it a no.  As for the ďCALL ME!!Ē  things, ignore them.

ACTIVITIES- the things we do that we get hours for.

Double check sign-in sheets of activities three times, maybe four times when recording hours.  Nothing will piss off a member more than going to an activity and not getting credit for it.  Also, keep all the activity sign-in sheets as evidence in case thereís a discrepancy later.  You can blame the member for not signing in, as opposed to him blaming you for not recording it.  Evidence rules!

If too many people are signed up for an activity, you should only call a few reliable, responsible members and remind them to come.  If too little people are signed up for an activity, call everybody and hopefully then youíll have enough.  If not, cancel it.

If possible, donít schedule an activity on a day when something else big is going on (PSAT, Band parade, etc.).

Try not to reschedule activities because members will be confused, and in the worst cases will go to the activity on the wrong day.

Record all activities on a sheet and keep updating the hours after every activity.  This will come in handy when members want to know how many hours they have.  Also, itís a good way to decide which sophomore(s)  to ask to keep up the tradition.

COMMITTEES- a bunch of members we get from the club to organize an activity.

We make committees when we donít want to bother organizing an activity.  We also do this to give the members a sense of responsibility and power in the club.  They donít really have any, but we like to give them a sense of it once in a while.

BULLETINS- the thing in the bulletin that tells the members to go to meetings.

Whether you like it or not, someone has to do it.  Hereís how.  Go to the office and get the orange forms yourself.  If you ask for 1, theyíll give you 1.  I grab 20 at a time so I donít have to ask for it 20 times.  Write it, then get them signed by Shanahan.  They are due the morning recess before they are to go into the bulletin.

Shanahan needs to sign all bulletins, but if heís absent, go to Woitawitch for her signature or wait for his return.

Bulletin people often misspell words, change words, forget words, or put it on an extra day and thereís nothing you can do about it.

Get them signed early by Shanahan early so you arenít scrambling at morning recess to make the deadline.

DISTRICT 5000- the big state-wide Interact.

They are like the IRS because they take out $2 of every $5 we get for dues.  They also take a portion of every car wash ticket we sell for them, and in return, we get a newsletter once in a while.

CONVENTIONS- a get together of all the heads of Interacts.

For some reason, itís on Kauai although 95% of Interacts are on Oahu.

We exchange ideas there about how other clubs work.  By doing this, we are, in theory supposed to improve our own clubs.  The world being flat was also a theory.

THE ROTARY- the East Honolulu Rotary club that sponsors us.

We do the beach cleanups and Highway cleanups with.  Also, Kaimuki park cleanup with.

They give us $250 a year so be nice.

Rotaryís scholarship for seniors favors Interact members.  Deadlineís in February.

KALANI HIGH SCHOOL- the school that we are located in.

A very valuable source of activities.  This includes Read-a-thons, Easter egg hunts, and the Haunted House.  Go to Woitawitch and ask if Interact can do them otherwise she may give it to Kiwins or NHS.  Also the site of car washes.  Itís also the site of the Speech Festival, but for some reason, NHS always gets to do it.

CAR WASHES- the fastest way to make money and get hours at the same time.

If you want something done right, do it yourself.  The DISTRICT 5000 people are incompetent, irresponsible, ignorant, impractical idiots and the only time they call to remind us of anything is when they call to see if we mailed back extra tickets and the money for the tickets we sold.  Also, we only make $150 a car wash with them, but we make $500 by ourselves.

EXAMPLE: We called DISTRICT 5000 to find out what to bring to their car wash at Costco, and only then did we find out it had been moved to Kaimuki High School.  By  the way, they never told us what to bring, and when we got there, we found out that they never told the other Interact clubs what to bring.  We managed because the other Interact clubs brought their own supplies.

Make a big banner to attract cars without tickets.  About 80% of the cars we wash are ones without tickets.

You will need at least 2 hoses, (3-4 recommended).  Also, CLEAN THE WATER!!  If you wash a car with dirty water, it will be dirtier than when it came in.  Every so often, dump out the water, and put in new  water.

Mr. MATTHEWS always sells about 20 tickets to the rotary so make sure to give him a lot of tickets to sell.

To get permission for one, go to Porris-Twang or Shanahan for a form.

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